I live in the land of Bollywood, but it's taken me six months of settling in before I actually got to the cinema! Of course, the theatre near my house only opened a month ago, too.
So last night I went to see
Les Miserables (excellent film, by the way). I booked tickets online, via their
website - super easy. We arrived five minutes before showtime and there were no lines...actually, there were very few people. I'm guessing because most of the locals in my neighborhood go to the small, nearby cinemas that only show Hindi movies. The ones with rickety seats and sticky floors where everyone talks through the film, sings along to the songs, and dances in aisles. The ones mostly filled with men.
We tried to retrieve our tickets with the automated machine, but had trouble with our code. However the girl at the counter was very helpful and we had our tickets in no time. We went through security again and made ourselves comfortable in our big cushy seats. (month-old cinema has its advantages!)
This theatre is also the first in Mumbai to have a Gold Class theatre. They had these in Colombia and in the States, I'm sure. All the seats are recliners with trays and cup holders, waiters come around to serve you or collect your garbage. It's posh.
Lots of trailers and ads before the movie, and then...everyone stands up...for the national anthem! As I stood there I realized that cinema is to India what baseball is to America, so of course they'd play the national anthem. It's also national identity indoctrination - I said the Pledge of Allegiance every day in school growing up.
There were only maybe 25 people in the theatre on a Tuesday night. Right before the film starts, there's an ad reminding patrons to turn off their cell phone and NOT TALK during the film. I thought it amusing. Until the film started and the row of people behind us talked, and talked, and talked, and talked, and talked.
Not whispered. Not once or twice. On and on and on. Several other patrons shushed them. Repeatedly. My colleague turned around and gave them a look. But nothing phased them. They were like middle school kids out without their parents...only they were easily in their 20's if not 30's...and well dressed, so they weren't uneducated. Just unmannered.
They were clearly not even watching the film and definitely driving everyone else mad - the shushes continued, some disapproving tsk tsk's too - but it wasn't until they continued to shout back and forth to each other during 'I Dreamed a Dream' that I lost it. For crying out loud, it's one of the anthems of the musical!
Half way through the song I stood up, turned around and told them to shut up, looking at as many of them as I could in the eye. Then I sat down in a huff. My colleague gave me an approving nudge. They snickered behind us, but were quiet...all the way to intermission.
Yes, they have an intermission...right in the middle of another song, too! They run concession stand ads and hope to make sales while you wait. We, on the other hand, noticed the ladies in front of us turn around to see the people behind us, then march out the door. They came back, made eye contact with us and then winked! Weird.
Five minutes later, FOUR ushers came in and spoke with the men in the group about being quiet. The ushers were skinny, scrawny little teenagers and the patrons behind us were big, pudgy men pushing 30. It was brilliant.
The rest of the movie they were silent. Kudos PVR Cinemas!
